What could be more comforting than presence? Language can’t even equal to the consolation that mere presence brings.
Women often express pain in words. Once they talk it through, they usually feel better. There are times, though, when even words become an insufficient balm for the soul.
When we question the validity of our emotions, sometimes, we choose to ignore them. Perhaps, sin has become so common. And because everyone sins, we feel we are only overreacting if we are hurt by the sins of others.
Sometimes, because of our need to protect, we choose to remain silent. There may also be times when we just don’t understand how we should react or how we should feel. So we try to dismiss — the feelings, the anger, the hurt.
Nevertheless, the pain remains. Buried. Deep. Unconfronted.
Other people say, “you can’t cry”. Crying is for the weak. Vulnerability won’t help. Stand up, get busy, do something.
So, you bury it even more. You take pain relievers. Then, more pain relievers. Plus more and more pain relievers.
Temporary pain relievers.
But the pain remains. More Buried. Deeper. Still Unconfronted.
Here is where you need presence. Silent, yes, but comforting.
When you don’t need to speak to be understood, nevertheless, you are understood. When you don’t need to say, “I need you to stay”, nevertheless, you are heard.
Others are blessed by keen friends. Friends who choose to silently pray, other friends choose to silently stay.
But if you don’t have those friends, there is one presence you need — Jesus. He can understand your deepest pain. In fact, He can feel every sting. With Him, vulnerability is allowed. Crying is okay. No judgments. No explanations. He will stay.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Ps 34:18, NIV.
Pain is a result of sin — whether self inflicted or caused by others. You can feel the pain in your mouth either from a decayed tooth because of eating too much candies, or from a hard punch coming from an enemy- one self-inflicted, the other caused by someone else.
Regardless of origin, both are painful.
While we still live in this world, and Jesus has not come yet, pain is inevitable.
But the good news is, despite the reality of pain, we can take them to Jesus and find healing.
A decayed tooth can be extracted, a broken heart can be mended. Perhaps emotional pain takes years to recover, but Jesus can bind up wounds.
For some, full healing may not be possible at present, but when Jesus comes and restores things to the original, there will be no more nights, no more pain, never crying again.
I discovered just recently that some of my friends gossiped about me behind my back. I mean, I cannot say they have no reason to, but you know, you understand it– it will always be a different feeling if they are your FRIENDS.
HURTING.
Of course, my initial reaction was the feeling of betrayal, hurt, and pain.
“Mga Plastic!”
I hated the idea of people commenting about your character without understanding the circumstances or reasons behind the actions. But just when I started telling God my frustrations, I heard conscience shouting…
“IKAW MAN POD!”
I remembered one time, I was talking to Friend1 about Friend2 about my apparent unliking of Friend2. Friend1 told me, “diba friends man mo, you even have names for each other”. It was a moment of “bitaw no, ngano pod bitaw” … but as usual, pride spurned conviction.
Lami jud kaayo manlibak.
I’ve gossiped about A LOT of my FRIENDS in my lifetime. Well, not that I don’t know about the “unchristianity” of gossip, but I’ve made a long list of justification why it’s not “gossip”.
“comment raman ni”
“kita raman pod ang kabalo ani“
“ayaw saba”
“friend man mi pero…”
“wala man mi nanglibak, storya lang”
etc…
kay lagi, lami jud kaayo manlibak.
Gossip does to us what other things do not — it’s an easy access to SELF-CONFIDENCE. Of course, righteousness is easy when we compare ourselves to others, right?
We easily get boosted by the mistakes of others. We feel better just because our sins are of a different color. We feel better because their sins are exposed, ours are hidden. We feel better because others have failed at areas we did not.
But you know what reality is? God sees those sins as the same. We are the same equal filthy people at the foot of the cross. Our sins may be of different hues, nonetheless, THEY ARE SINS. And hypocrisy could even be more filthy than other sins.
Lessons are different when it strikes home. And this is why I thank God even for the bitter experiences– because they teach me lessons. If I have not been personally hurt, I would have not considered my own faults.
I remember gossiping about a very close friend years ago. Back then, I did not understand the pain I put that person through– that it stings more when it comes from a person you trust. I just thought I was right with the principles I was holding.
Well, I guess there are lessons you learn not in months, but in years. Still, it’s better to learn, even if it takes a loooooong time.
I heard someone once said, “Will you gossip about Jesus? Well then, neither will you gossip about anyone for whom Jesus died. “
True enough. When we love someone, our love for them overpowers all the things we don’t like about them.
I guess we then need to come to Jesus. He can give us the heart to love others, our friends, even our enemies more than we love ourselves — yes, more than our love for our self-worth that we so easily covet from the mistakes of others.
As for me, I thank God for His long-suffering for my years-long of stupidity and hardheartedness.
Yesterday, we read about Eli– how after the judgment of God, he acknowledged his sins but did not repent. I’m praying for true repentance on this matter.
Really, acknowledgement doesn’t count without true repentance.
But I do know that even it will take years for me to live by this, God is more potent than my weaknesses. In His strength, I will overcome. We will overcome. #
_________________________________________
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Eph 4:29
“He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.” Prov 17:9
“If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.” Jas 1:26
I Will Go 